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WHAT
KIND OF FOOD WOULD YOU WANT TO HAVE NAMED AFTER YOU?
DAPHNE MATTHEWS:
A pumpkin, the biggest one there is, because I'm that
big.
LARRY GREEN:
Green bananas! Ha Ha!
ERNIE BROOKINGS:
How about cereal, a dry cereal.
WALTER MCGEORGE: Watermelon
GEORGE STINGEL:
Caviar
BILL LAGASSE:
Spaghetti
CHARLES
SHEA: Wheaties:
ANDY LEGRICE:
Crackers. or Fig Newtons.
BILL NIEMI:
Probably some kind of chocolate cake, and maybe a brand
of
some good coffee.
JACK MUDURIAN:
Beans, Friend's baked beans with pork in it in a tin
can.
I've seen it advertised on televisions.
DBG: And you'd like it named after you?
JACK: Yeah, Jack's baked Beans in molasses sauce with
pork in a tin can.
Of course I couldn't give 'em any money to do that.
Money - the root of all
evil. Money can't buy physical health.
DAVID BREWER:
Steak.
WALTER KIERAN:
Chicken
ABE SURGECOFF:
Well I don't know, I haven't decided. I'll say apple,
but
you'll say no.
DBG: No I won't.
ABE: I'm afraid I'll be quite a while.
GENE EDWARDS:
Probably geese or chicken.
(from Duplex
Planet issue# 83)

ROY ELLIOT:
Why is it they put holes in Swiss cheese when it's limburger
needs ventilation!
WALLY BAKER: They use a shotgun to put holes in Swiss
cheese.
(from Duplex
Planet issue #106)

JOHN FAY:
First I worked in Schraft's Candy Company. Then I worked
in
Duran's Candy Company. I was on the belt there too.
A big belt in Duran's,
The candy would come down on the belt and I'd pack it.
everything went on
the belt. I was a packer. There was no money though,
so I quit. Then I got
a job at Necco--Necco and Schraft's. Shraft's was the
best - more money.
Bonus all the time at Schraft's. I'm sick and tired
of candy. I worked in
so many candy companies. I don't touch candy no more.
Mrs. Miller'll give
me a piece a candy once in a while and I'll make her
happy and eat it.
(from Duplex
Planet issue #4)

WHAT'S THE
WORST JOB YOU'VE HAD?
JOHN FALLON:
Workin' for the First National. Twenty five cents an
hour
for forty hours, fifty hours. Grocery store. I waited
on people and loaded
the shelves. The pay was the bad part, the work wasn't
bad, you met a lot
of people.
(from Duplex
Planet issue #127)

DBG: Tom,
how much would you pay for shaving cream?
TOM LAVIN: Well. I used to work makin' it.
DBG: Oh really, where?
TOM: Gillette.
DBG: Did you get a discount on shaving cream?
TOM: No, I forget how they used to do it.
(from Duplex
Planet issue #20)

WHICH DO
YOU PREFER: COFFEE OR MEAT?
JOHN COLTON:
Coffee. It all depends on how much of each you have.
It could
be a hamburger or it could be a steak.
GEORGE MACWILLIAMS:
I used to like meat. Roast Beef, years ago. Seems like
I've lost my appetite.
FRANK WISNEWSKI:
Give me a coffee and a jelly doughnut. I like meat too,
naturally. Meat is better than coffee. Give me a steak
dinner and a couple
beers and a bare assed broad.
(from Duplex
Planet issue #20)
BILL NIEMI:
Ginger ale is supposed to taste good on a Friday.
(from Duplex Planet issue # 43)

DBG: What's
better than tapioca?
WILLIAM "FERGIE" FERGUSON: More tapioca!
RECIPE:
WHATEVER YOU LIKE BY FRANK KANSLASKY
FRANK: Put it in a bowl.
DBG: What?
FRANK: Anything.
DBG: And then what?
FRANK: Follow the instructions. That's it ain't it?
Cook it.
DBG: What do You have when you're done?
FRANK: Whatever you put in there.
DBG: How many Will it serve?
FRANK: Well, it says on the box.
(from Duplex
Planet issue # 43)

KEN EGLIN:
That salad is worse than Delaware!
(from Duplex
Planet issue # 43)
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